Marijuana for Medical Purposes

Dear Mr. Ted Peetz I take over read the essay you wrote, Marijuana for health check Purposes Is It a Dopey Idea, and I feel found some mistakes that I want to table service you fix I am not writing this to bash your essay, but to encourage give you stronger examples. I want to help clear up and complete your thoughts before you further your essay. Furthermore, at the prat of the first page in your essay you use the source of Jo Daily, the motive police in San Francisco, who smokes illegally to help relieve her pain later chemotherapy.Jo Daily is not a good source for this topic. Anyone, and especially a police officer, should be following the law. Citizens look up to people give care Jo Daily, but she is setting a actually poor example as a law enforcement officer. On the second page and in the fourthly paragraph, you recommend giving cannabis to kids underweight with AIDS to help append their appetite and relieve the stress of pain. You should never mention kids and s moking because it would fix a very negative effect on the crowd, especially parents, no matter how strong the argument is.You aimed towards pathos but it was not the opera hat topic. At the beginning of your essay you started off with a quote. You should never have a quote stand alone in a news report. Instead, introduce the quote into a sentence. By embedding the quote, you describe your paper going immediately. If you do what you are trying to do, you are starting off your paper already very awkwardly. Its considered a fragmented and its less formal. It could also have a negative effect and turn the reader away from the very beginning. Hey man, want some pot? is just going to make your paper sound like it is all about smoking pot and it really does not have a good relationship with the rest of the paper. In the first paragraph of the second page, you compare two incomparable subjects, marijuana and penicillin, and try to connect it by using pathos. There are really no resourc es saying that marijuana can cure but penicillin is employ with many doctors to cure patients. Also, on the second page you share how Chris Woiderski would get relief from muscle spasms and pains associated with being a paraplegic.A paraplegic is mortal who cannot feel pain from the waist down. Lastly, you thoroughly explained how legalizing marijuana can help the patients with chemotherapy, kids with AIDS, and pain and stress relief and I have yet to chink a reliable sources for any of these arguments or any following up sentences to defend them. Your sources show positive outlooks on marijuana, but the online articles are lone(prenominal) a page to a page long. There also require to a different source than Online High Times Magazine, because their information is biased.